I set out hoping to find a decent argument for the possibility of zombies, which would support my intuitive attraction to epiphenomenalism. I discovered, instead, that the argument by epiphenomenalism's brightest star, David Chalmers, is derailed by an internalist intentionalist argument before it even gets going and that there is an argument for internalist intentionalism that is quite strong. I provide some suggestions about how Chalmers' argument might be put back on track, but at the moment these ideas amount to little more than intuition massagings that have less rational force behind them than the responses they are sure to generate.